YESTERDAY, we brought you the opening segment of a lecture delivered by our CEO, Femi Adelegan at the MEN’S FELLOWSHIP OF THE CHRIST APOSTOLIC CHURCH, KUBWA, ABUJA
THEME: GOD’S WILL FOR THE FAMILY (AMOS:3:3) … FAMILY & FINANCE MANAGEMENT
MORAL RECTITUDE – PREVENTIVE ABOVE REACTIVE STRATEGIES WHY WE MUST INTERVENE COLLECTIVELY:
• ‘’If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?’’ Psalm 11:3. • When a bad practice is continued over a period of time, it becomes the norm; hence the need for proactive measures to shape the conducts of the young ones in their formative years through adolescence, through family values.
THE STATE OF THE HOME & FAMILY TODAY: The whole world is indeed in perilous times. All indications point to the fact that we are witnessing signs of the end time and occurrences call for greater attention to our spiritual lives. Take a critical look at all that is happening in the world, with regard to sinful conducts. What do we see?
- Moral decay
- Sinful conducts
- Indiscipline on the part of youths and adults
- Lack of proper attention to the upbringing of our growing ones
SHARED VALUES & RESPONSIBILITIES: The Lord’s covenant of prosperity and sound health is contained in the Book of 3 John: 1-2 reads: ‘’Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.’’ The fact that God says so does not mean you should not plan and manage your life prayerfully. .Before agreeing to become one, it is expected that a man and woman must have courted for some time during which they would have been able to pray together to know the mind of God concerning their plans to marry and also seek counselling by church leaders. I must highlight the fact that an unhappy home is like hell, hence the need for those going into marital unions to be very prayerful. A few issues that would guide the future must be discussed and projections made. It would profit a couple to decide how many children they pray to have, the type of life they want to live, their projected attainments at different points in their journeys through life, and their goals and aspirations.
Broadly, all of us prefer to dwell in environments in which people find happiness and fulfillment. If this must come to fruition, the husband must be able to provide for the needs of his family, and more importantly provide direction and leadership. But let me hasten to say that God has decreed that the task of managing the family and providing for the family is a joint-responsibility of the husband and the wife. God is a benevolent dictator and His terms and conditions are very well spelt out in the Holy Bible. It is true that much as we abhor crises, the reality is that it is impossible to imagine the life of a society without crises; and a home without disgreements.
However, if we honour God’s instructions, families would experience less of strife, and more of the blessings of God. It follows, therefore, that for the head of the family to gain the respect of members of the family, certain virtues like honesty, forthrightness, commitment and dedication to the pursuits of the family, in addition to an excellent spirit, must be exhibited by the husband. A man must be able to provide for the needs of the family. However, I every reasonable woman must support the husband, and respect him as the head of the family because they are one. In the same vein, the fact that the husband has spiritual authority in the home does not turn him to a terror applying coercion, brutality, and other forms of violence that do not conform to civility, established norms, regulations, and other laws guiding human relationships as defined by in the Scriptures.
REQUIREMENTS FOR GOOD FAMILY FINANCE: Faithfulness is the core factor for the successful management of Family Finance and all relationships. If you are not faithful to your partner, you can never organize your finances well and this would tell on the family. A reasonable couple must discuss, plan and implement intentions together. They must work towards managing their home for good, influence their children positively, and proffer solutions to problems in a manner that would assist the judicious management of the finances of the family. And spouses must never forget that children learn fast, especially at impressionably ages and would always want to do what they see mummy and daddy do. Therefore, a couple that is not sincere in their dealings with one another cannot effectively manage the resources of the family.
Eventually, this will have a negative effect on the family. As leaders and governors of the home, the couple is on a continuous programme of learning the art of managing resources for better attainments, so they have a great deal of work to do in order to transform their homes and build a happy home and future for their offsprings. Now, what are the responsibiites of believers in a marital union? How do you manage your home? Do you pay particular attention to grooming your children for future leadership roles? How do you behave at work? Do you lead by example? How is your prayer life like? Does your behaviour encourage people to regard you as a role model? The simple answer is that decision makers and heads of families must be people with sound characters and tested integrity.
COOPERATION AND COLLABORATION: These days of economic hardship, many homes and families have been ruined because of disagreements ranging from lack of adequate financial resources to manage the home, to illegal amorous dealings or infidelity, other forms of immorality and acts that are not in tandem with the will of God for the family. It is not only parents, children also have roles to play by not being wasteful and by exhibiting the virtue of contentment. Let us assume that in times of economic downturn, spouses might be somehow affected. The fact still remains that there will never be a time when all human needs will be fully available. A naira millionaire will strive to be a billionaire. A naira billionaire will crave to emege a naira multi-billionaire, and naira multi-billionaire will aim at becoming a dollar multi-billionaire. Human thirsts could be insatiable due to ambition; but it is the responsibility of couples to sit down and plan for the financial resources accruing to families. How do they go about this
Take a firm decision: I am I going to operate a joint account with my spouse or not? This is one decision that needs to be taken with every seriousness and faithfulness. You have to be sincere in going into this type of agreement that demands that you know what each other does with your joint accounts and withdrawals. In this part of the world, extended family commitments could lead to disagreements in situations where one partner spends excessively on his or her extended family. I want to submit that there should be no trouble at all if this happens if it doesn’t have a serious negative effect on the financies of the family.
- Fingers are not equal. Spouses come from various backgrounds. ‘Spouse A’ might have extremely rich parents while ‘Spouse B’ might come from a poor background. Since they have agreed to come together to become one, there must be understanding and the role of assisting people should be a joy to couples than can afford.
- Additionally, and in most cases, people allow their wives to keep a different purse apart from the common family purse. If God blesses a man, he wouldnt mind this arrangement. There are situations where the wife holds a credit card and makes purchases while the bills are forwarded to the husband who settles the bills at the end of the month without raising objections. TRUST is the keyword in this type of situation; and this is combined with love.
- A woman is expected to be submissive to the husband. And the husband must play his role by contributing more to the purse of the family. This is one way to command the respect of the wife and children. Wives are human beings. If you allow your wife to be the only bread-winner for the family without any good reasons like a temporary challenge of wilderness experience, then do not expect your wife to be totally submissive to you because you would sort of lose your voice in the home. On a few occasions, however, we have seen women who have somehow assisted their husbands to attain higher heights and would never make any noise or be swollen-headed about it. It is important that men must toil and labour even harder than other members of the family.
FAMILY BUDGET: A wise couple would always make a budget, plan by keeping records of financial transactions, be honest in their dealings with the family budget and draw up priorities for the family. The couple would guide the children to be realistic and educate them to avoid peer influence that could make them covet wealth and other sinful conducts. Human beings naturally desire good things of life. But it is necessary for the couple to plan to spend based on what is available and not on covetousness that could get them into trouble. They could agree on various investment options to augment incomes and consider various options of investments. It is important for the family to plan for the management of the excesses that could accrue from time to time, and therefore, save for the rainy day. Spend only on necessities – You could help people in church, at work and generally the needy. Jesus Christ is the shining example here. So what and what did he do while on earth? The summary of Christ’s deeds is that He cared for the poor.
CHILDREN AND FAMILY FINANCE: At impressionable ages, children learn fast and could mimic their parents. Children, who are the leaders of tomorrow are constantly watching their parents and would, therefore, attempt to emulate their parents, even if such actions are ungodly. The story of Susanne, the mother of John and Charles Wesley is interesting. She laboured hard in prayers for the upbringing of her children who became successful because of the quality time she spent in praying and attending to the growth of her young ones. John Wesley, who founded the Methodist Church rode over 250,000 miles by horseback – a distance comparable to circling the world ten times. He preached more than forty thousand sermons and published more than five thousand sermons, pamphlets, and books of all kinds. At the time of his death, Wesley had 79,000 followers. Today in England alone, there are more than 800,000 members of the Methodist Church, while Worldwide, there are 70 million members.
TAKE HEED: Revd (Mrs) Abimbola Adetuberu said it all in one of her publications in which she noted that ‘’spiritual negligence could be very costly. According to her, “the throne is actually a comfort zone, but it attracts the opposition; because success attracts enemies. Nobody fights a failure. Esther understood this, which was why she was able to fast alongside others.” Therefore, spouses must realize that there are responsibilities attached to positions of parents, and these responsibilities increase as you record greater successes. Spouses must be determined to succeed so that families too would succeed. Nothing comes easy. You must plan, pray and be resolute to be able to receive from God. Not even armed robbery is easy because you need to plan very well to be able to rob successfully. Being the head of the family does not command arrogance, because God gives the humble grace (Proverbs 3:34) refreshes the humble (Isaiah 57:17) rewards and blesses the humble (Proverbs 22:4) and also leads and teaches the humble (Psalm 25:9)
CONCLUSION: As believers, spouses, in whatever positions they may find themselves must realize the supremacy of God and the fact that Jesus Christ is their role model. Satan’s plan is to destroy. Therefore, families must be constantly united in binding the strongman with strong intercessions that are their weapons of warfare. The family is ordained of God to experience pleasure. Disharmony in a Christian home is bound to hinder prayers, affect the future of the children, and eventually the society. Whatever God says or directs spouses to do, they must not hesitate for a single second in obeying. Wives are the spiritual anchors of families, and must accordingly labour hard in prayers. Men must, on their part, encourage their wives to be able to support them maximally for the good of the family, and ostensibly that of the society. —- CONCLUDED
SALVATION: It is very sobering to imagine the great patience of our Lord who is always standing at the door of our hearts knocking for so long, expecting a positive answer. What a compassionate Redeemer we have in Jesus and the Holy Spirit who wants everyone to accept the call to be saved.
Dear Lord, I confess that I am an unworthy sinner. I call upon You right now to please forgive me all my sins. I believe you died for me, and resurrected to pay the price for my salvation. I accept You as my Saviour and Lord, and thank You for saving me. Amen.
May God Almighty give all spouses the grace, strength and courage to perform their roles satisfactorily, so that they could ultimately make heaven. It shall be well with all of us in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Above all, may the Good Lord bless Nigeria.
TERRIFIC INVESTMENT & CONSULTING; Incorporating: TERRIFIC HEADLINES
PROMOTING FAMILY VALUES & VIRTUES — WHEN COUPLES UNITE & FATHERS PLAY THEIR ROLES: THE SOCIETY DEVELOPS
WHY ENCOURAGE UNITY OF COUPLES & FAMILY COHESION? – ‘’If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?’’ Psalm 11:3
- It is to be noted that several people and organizations that have responsibilities for exercising parental functions need to do more in order to meet the expectations of right thinking members of the society. Lack of family values and virtues form part of the root causes of social vices that have almost become an obsession globally.
- Given the increasing and alarming incidents of condemnable vices and unusual occurrences of broken homes, curable and incurable diseases, and acts that could cause all forms of violence, there is a compelling need for intervention through a collaborative approach by spouses that should be vigilant and be more committed to the development of the growing ones.
- Weekly, we shall reach you with encouraging and thought-provoking pieces on FAMILY VIRTUES & VALUES on our channels
- COHESION AS A STRONG FACTOR: Some marriages are figuratively said to be made in heaven, because of the seemingly perfect nature of relationships by united couples who play the game according to the rules. It is an established fact that disorderly homes, are next to hell in terms of agonies experienced by some family units made up of father, mother, son and daughter. Therefore, people pray for the divine Hand of God to guide them in choosing their spouses and raising their families
- RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS & ORGANIZATIONS WITH PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES:
- For the sake of our tomorrow, older people, who are supposed to be the moral compass must not get lost in a haze of misdemeanors.
- The impact on youths has implications of changes in behaviour, morals and aspirations. Some unwholesome acts in the society influenced by over-exposure to foreign cultures are so pervasive; and their effects are hugely corrosive and anti-development.
- And the right segment of the society that should make this noble objective happen consists of Governments, spouses, whose activities are copied by their children and wards, organizations with parental responsibilities; NGOs, and the civil society.
TARGET AUDIENCE includes: A broad spectrum of the global community with emphasis on Nigeria, Africa, and indeed, the global community. However, we regulate our audience in accordance with the description and directives of our CLIENTS and the dictates of our campaign’s mission and goals.
- Particularly, Parents, Government, organizations with parental responsibilities, the civil society, civil society organizations, youths and youth organizations, opinion and community leaders .
DATES OF COMMENCEMENT OF ACTIVITIES – SENSITIZATION AND WEEKLY ACTIVITIES ON SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS – NOW RUNNING – Very ripe for Support/Partnership.
- PROMOTING FAMILY VALUES & VIRTUES: To start running from February 1, 2019.THE NEED FOR INTERVENTION & CAMPAIGN FOR MORAL RECTITUDE:
- The need for an urgent intervention in family values and virtues is underscored by the fact that when a bad practice is continued over a period of time, it becomes the norm; hence the need for proactive measures to shape the conducts of the young ones in their formative years through adolescence.
- Our activities on TERRIFIC HEADLINES have been designed to further encourage men and women alike, with responsibility for the training of children and wards and managing the home, to stand committed to the objective of joint responsibility for successes of couples in life.
COMING SOON ……..
COUPLES & PARENTS OF VIRTUE
- The evolving era of joint partnerships in the management of homes and businesses by spouses is worthy of being celebrated
- We intend to stage, very soon, an event that is part of this agenda authored by TERRIFIC HEADLINES, to promote family cohesion and recognize couples that could be considered as ROLE MODELS in the society, considering their enviable conducts through collaboration for the development of their family units.
- Details of the event as packaged event, tagged: COUPLES & PARENTS OF VIRTUE is planned to celebrate and recognize couples that have proven by exemplary conducts that they take their marital unions seriously and so, accord themselves all honours and privileges accruing to responsible and responsive spouses; who have come together to raise families, among other objectives of man and woman coming together in holy matrimony..
HONOUR: Couples, who by dint of hard work, and mutual encouragement have reached the pinnacles of their careers, jointly building their homes and businesses;
- Men who have exceptionally supported their wives and female children to excel are to be celebrated.
- The stories of the lives and struggles of all prize awardees; all noted as ROLE MODELS that we are serializing are worth reading and emulating.
- Also to be recognized for honour are a few ROYAL FATHERS, whose disposition to the female gender and activities as mobilizers of their domains, deserve special focus.
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